Why, hello there, my chums! Thank you for joining me for the first edition of ‘what’s been a happenin’! This is where I write a long, rambly, post, sporadically interrupted with random pictures which I think are funny but you might not, about stuff I’ve done in the last month. It could be interesting, it could be funny, it could be boring – but you know what? We’re going to go on this journey together. Buckle up and (try to) enjoy the ride! Fingers crossed for a good outcome, but expect the worst, because I’d rather I exceeded your expectations than disappointed them.
So Janurary started with New Years Eve, in which I was ill and thought my lungs were going to collapse from all the coughing. I spent my rockin’ NYE watching Youtube videos and secretly thanking the powers that be for making me sick so I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about being a social outcast and not twerking at the clubs (is twerking still a thing?) and awkwardly wondering if the guys laughing in that corner are laughing at how I dance like a spoon someone has electrocuted, whilst also thinking of a socially acceptable reason to leave a club at 9pm so I can be tucked up into bed watching Cougar Town by ten.
At some point during the month, a point I can’t remember because the only concept of time I have is the days I work and the days my tv shows air on, I took a three year old to see the Paddington movie. This was a great strategy, because during the scary bits (YES I KNOW IT’S A KIDS MOVIE IT’S SCARY OKAY) I could grab her onto my lap, hold on to her tightly and pretend that I was comforting her (oh, who are we kidding, she wasn’t even scared) when in reality I was using her to shield my eyes from the “dark themes” (more like the stuff of nightmares) on the screen.
At another point, I went and saw Into the Woods, which was great except for the scary parts – did anyone else find Johnny Depp especially creepy? I wouldn’t like to encounter him in my woods. Other movies I saw during the month: Annie, which I had conflicted feelings about (it was cute, though), especially when they changed the lyrics to all the songs, and I was not a fan of Jamie Foxx as Daddy Warbucks; and Wild which I absolutely hated. If I wanted to watch a two hour boring monologue of someone reflecting upon their life whilst walking, I would film myself walking to university everyday. Also, someone needs to teach that girl a swear word that isn’t the ‘f’ word. PS. the sex and drug scenes were disturbing.
Later on in the month, I was bribed $50 to go to a political debate between the two candidates for our election. It was filmed, and I was on TV, y’all! Here are some of the updates I sent out during the debate:
As you can tell, I’m really into politics.
Of course, I also hung out with friends during the month. Mostly I used these experiences as a way to break my healthy eating “lifestyle” (I’m using the air quotes because I don’t think you can call something a lifestyle that is more a way of eating when you only feel guilty about eating too much sugar and start thinking you’ll get diabetes) by suggesting we meet up at cafes which, oh no, have no healthy food on the menu (e.g. chocolate shops). What a shame.
In all seriousness, I have been eating much healthier than usual as of late. I’ve also been working out 2-4 hours each day, which is mainly because they have more TV channels at the gym than I have at home, but hey! Whatever works, right?
Also, in a dysfunctional family update, my father and his partner might be buying the house my mum and I currently live in. Is this weird? Definitely. It becomes even weirder if you knew about my family history and the situation I grew up in, which I will explain one day, but that’s a post which will probably make me sad and angry, so I’d rather do it on one of those days that you need something to make you have a good cry.
And, romantic entanglements, you ask? LOL. Doll, get with the program: this girl is single, and let’s be real, will probably be single for the foreseeable future. My idea of flirting is sarcasm and being even more awkward than I am now. In order to meet someone, I’m told, you actually need to leave your house, and I’m not really a fan of that. Netflix is a lifestyle, not a hobby, and it’s one that I maintain on a daily basis. The only ‘romantic relationships’ I’m in come in the form of serving a hot guy at work and awkwardly holding his purchase for too long so he’s forced to talk to me for longer.
Well, that’s pretty much my monthly recap. If you’ve made it this far, thank you! If you haven’t, well, I don’t blame you. I didn’t really do anything interesting this month!
Did you find this at all entertaining? Would you rather I never do it again? What did you do this month? Let me know in the comments!