So, you guys, I don’t know about you, but I don’t like cleaning my shower. It tastes too long, and you can’t read a book whilst doing it (trust me, I’ve tried). Unfortunately, sometimes you just need to suck it up and clean your shower so when you have visitors, your visitors don’t judge you by having a shower covered in your own filth. When I did a bit of googling today, for ‘effortless shower cleaning’, Google completely failed me (how dare you not cater to lazy shower cleaners, Google!), so I had to come up with my own tactics. And, here, I present to you, my post on ‘How to be somewhat of an adult by cleaning your shower, yet not really because it doesn’t require much of an effort and you can just stand there dancing in your underwear whilst your shower cleans itself’.
What you’re going to need: as many bottles of things that look like they would clean surfaces, clothes, bacteria, or might do some sort of job of covering up the grime. Personally, I just went to my laundry and grabbed all things I could, and decided to use them, consequences be damned. I’m not going to share exactly what I used, because some weird things were in there, and this isn’t supposed to be a product placement post.
Much like a witch in Hocus Pocus, just throw it all in there and hope for the best. If the label says ‘never scrub again’ or ‘stain remover’ or ‘minimal effort needed’ than obviously you don’t need to do anything, apart from to throw large quantities in your shower, turn on the water and walk away right? And BAM, after as many times as you think you need, here you go, a freshly cleaned shower which smells like the combination of lavender (from the toilet cleaner), apricot (from the bottle of body lotion I accidentally split in the process), eucalyptus (from the clothing stain remover), and bleach (from the bleach). All in all, I used twelve different bottles of things… 8 of which are completely empty now.
As long as you don’t start a fire, clog up your drains or break your shower, it’s all good. And, besides, if you’re putting that much cleaning liquid in, it’s obviously going to clean itself right? Like the showers in the future will. Even if you don’t see much of a difference, just tell yourself you do. #positivethinking.
You’re welcome in advance.
PS. There’s a reason ‘professional house cleaner’ is listed on my resume, right underneath ‘got an A+ in maths five years running*’.
PPS. *in case you didn’t get it, that was sarcasm. It’s alright. Most people don’t get it. In reality I failed maths five years running.**
PPPS. **unfortunately that wasn’t sarcasm. As you can imagine, my parents were so proud.
PPPPS. This is actually how I clean my shower. I’m a really great adult.
PPPPPS. My shower actually looks really, really clean now. Like, for real.