Yesterday, I was working and a really cute boy brought a book up to the counter for me to ring up. As I swiped his credit card, we chatted. It was meaningless chat; the type of small talk I have with pretty much every customer. When I handed him back his credit card and told him to have a good weekend, he winked at me.
And I melted inside.
Today, one day later, I’m still thinking about that guy. I’ve always been the type of girl to obsess over every single cute guy I talk to – the type of girl that has over a thousand young adult romance novels; the type of girl that obsessively watches chick flicks and spends a lot of time (more than I’d care to admit) wondering when she would get a boyfriend.
And, I’m sick of it.
I’m sick of my pathetic behaviour that just reiterates to myself that I need to be in a relationship to be happy. I don’t. I don’t need a boyfriend to be successful; to be happy; to achieve the things I want to do with my life. The way I’ve been acting it’s like I’ve been biding my time until I meet a guy, and I’m completely ashamed that I’ve been acting like that.
So, you know what? I’m going to try to stop thinking like that. I don’t need a boyfriend or to be in a relationship in order to be content with my life; I’m pretty content with how it is at the moment, boyfriend-less and all. I’m not going to stop watching romantic comedies or reading my trashy chick flick novels, because I like them. What I am going to start doing, though, is not come away from those novels and those movies and think “I wish I had a boyfriend”.
That type of thinking has gotten me no where in the past, and will get me no where in the future. I don’t want to be that girl who needs to be in a relationship – so I’m not going to be.
Have you ever fallen into the trap of really wanting to be in a relationship? Are you in a relationship?